Right what can i do? please help?

-right well at 4 i was sextualy abused by my dad, and it went to court hes not allowed to see me at all no contact. i had councelling back then. im 13 now and suddenly all the anger a upset has started to come back at me, getting worse. to everyone else im a sweet calm girl but in side im tramatized and angry and upset. i Wont go to counceling and cant tell anyone! what can i do? help me i just want to rip his head off. littraly kill him. anger a upset has started to come back at me, getting worse. to everyone else im a sweet calm girl but in side im tramatized and angry and upset. i Wont go to counceling and cant tell anyone! what can i do? help me i just want to rip his head off. littraly kill him.Sweetie, it seems people already know. I know you probably hate him very much,

and that's normal. But if the counseling had helped you before, it will help you now.

Therapists will let you express your feelings, and the best part is, that they cannot

tell anyone. I'm sure your other family members will understand what your going

through, because me, being a stranger, I feel for you sweetheart. Good luck.
write it(what is making you angry) down on a piece and rip it up !
Seek Jesus.
Dear girl, I understand your feelings and how terrible it is to go through such thing at such a young age. In my opinion, even though it is so difficult for you to tell anyone about your feelings, you should talk to your mom or other family members if you didn't wish to go counselling and to be treated like a patient. Then, you wouldn't bear the pains alone. Sometimes, even though they might not be able to give you any actually helpful advice, their love for you and the fact that they are there for you would make you feel much better. In addition, you could try your best to forget about your dad instead of hating him extremely. I don't mean to forgive but to no longer torture yourself. Thinking about him leads you to think about that experience. That makes you become the one who truly suffers. It may be good for you to focus more on the rest of your family that cares about you and your true friends. They would protect you and give you delight, and the memory of bad things would fade away. Let happiness stays with you rather than anger. Believe me, life can be beautiful. Furthermore I suggest you to try exercising, which isn't only helpful for improving your body condition but also releasing your pain. Exercising has a dramatic effect on human brain and is able to change your life entirely. Those people with ADHD, depression, anxiety, addiction to drugs and alcohol, and even cancer were cured after long-time exercising. There are all true stories about them illustrated in an academic book called "Spark" by Doctor Ratey. If you are interested, you could spend some time reading it, which I believe is very useful. Besides studying, you can try drawing, listening to music, going out to enjoy the nature's beauty, etc. during your leisure time. They remind you that you are still an innocent girl. I don't know what makes you interested, but let it fills your heart if you had a hobby. Don't think too much about who hurt you but who loves you, what gives you sadness but what gives you joy, what forces you to stay in the past but what gives you a happy future.

I wish the painful experience would no longer affect your life and you could walk out of the shadow of the past that has been lingering in your mind. Good luck!