Why didnt I have a reaction too this family secret? Please read.?

-I am a 14 year old teenager. I found this secret out when I was 12. And I've been wondering why I havent had a reaction for 2 years. Here's the story, I'm going to try and make it short.



Background: Raised by a single mother, had contact to my alleged 'Father' saw him on Holidays, sometimes every other weekend. Family outings Etc. I have 2 older brothers 31 and 33. Mother and alleged father got back together when I was 9-10, Me and my mom moved into his house.



I had always thought I looked different than my brothers and my parents. In the summer I became very tan and dark haired, while my brothers would be PALE white. But I never thought anything else of it.



One day my parents were out, and I was home alone. I was searching for something, and I found my baby book hidden in the back of my moms closet. So of course I opend it, looked through it. And I came to a page that had my fathers name and information on it.....Except it wasn't my fathers name. It was someone Else's. It said he was Puerto Rican, Which explained why I was so much more tan then my brothers. And why i looked nothing like my family.



When I found out. I honestly didn't care too much. I just thought It was really cool that I was Puerto Rican. My mom recently found out that I knew the secret, because I had written that I wanted to meet him in a diary/notebook thing, that I had left out on my bed. She told me she didn't tell me because she thought I couldn't handle it. I meen my brothers knew, my moms friends knew, everyone knew, except me. She even told me the whole story that he ran out on my mom when she told him he was pregnant, and to make my life easier my 'parents' got back together and claimed that my 'father' was my dad. Wouldnt a regular person have a bigger and life changing reaction to this news...?



I belive I didnt and dont really care about the news is because, me and my 'Father' dont have a relationship, we barely talk and when we do we yell each otherher. Our relationship wont ever be good. (No need to go into details about that whole story) But is it bad that I want to meet him, and that I wonder what he looks like, where he lives, is he married, does his wife know, do they have kids, do they know? Does his parents know? Do they wonder about me?



Why didnt I have a reaction to this, I meen I didnt cry or anything. I honestly just thought it was cool that I was Puerto Rican and had a different dad. How would you have reacted?