I Am A Wealthy Man With A Question About My Will?

-My wife doesn't laugh at my jokes. My daughter hogs the remote. In fourteen years, my son has NEVER cleaned his room. Can I put it in my will that instead of getting anything they have to burn my fortune in the fireplace and watch it burn and think about what they've done? I have an alternate idea where I make them buy a golden sarcophagus and build me a tomb and whatever is left I want buried with me like I'm a Pharaoh. Which do you think is better and if I get it all worked out with my lawyer now, can I make sure that this definitely happens?Maybe you're not funny. Maybe you watch dumb shows. Maybe he likes his room dirty. I don't see how any of this makes them not worthy of your money....You can't blame your wife for not laughing at your jokes, she did not promise to laugh at your jokes in the wedding vows. For the rest of it just leave them a small sum and the rest to charity.
I would give everything to your girlfriend.
Donate it to charity
Give it to some odd charity. Trust me, they will be pissed.
donate it to a charity. THAT'LL piss them off