My mom treats me like i'm a slut..?

-she's so rude to me, she's constantly telling me what i shouldn't/should wear/do. ugh she is so judgemental.



anyways, i have never done anything to lose her trust, but all of a sudden it's gone. i'm 14 and i've never really had a real boyfriend because i didn't think my mom would approve of that so i tried to stay away from it all, or go to partys that might not be appropriate.



i feel like i am/have done all of this for nothing, i know kids that have done just flat out terrible things but yet they still seem to be close with their parents. i guess i can't help to feel like i've wasted alot of my life sitting at home, and turning down fun things all because i didn't think my mom would approve. i would have rather had some fun/crazy stupid times to think back on and lose her trust then to have done nothing at all and still have lost her trust.



i know she knows what other girls at school are like (she was in highschool once too) but that doesn't mean i'm going to become one of them!



even worse yet, i feel like me and my mom just don't connect anymore and it makes me sad. i know that i'm rude to her and probably a terrible daughter. (well according to her i am, she's made sure to remind me 100 times.)



i try talking to her about it but she always tells me that "it has nothing to do with trust." or "that's just my opinion." well it hurts! and i'm sick of her constantly telling me what i can't do.. i understand i can't do crack or make sex videos, but these are things that mothers who trusted her daughters would let her do/wear!



i know this is really long, sorry about that.Hey "Buzz Killingiton" or whatever who do you think you are? She has a problem and she wants/needs advice and you think you can just step all over her. She never said if she was white, black, mexican, asian, or anything! (she could be from Mars for all I care) Or if she was rich or poor. So how about you back off!



Sorry about that, but I am also 14 (not a girl though) and I understand that losing a connection with your mom could be devasting and could really hurt you. I believe she saw a little too much in middle/high school and doesn't want you to see/go through any of that.



I suggest sitting down with your mom and explaining what you just explained to me and show her were your coming from. Also don't make it into a screaming/yelling battle because it will be SOO much harder for her to understand what your trying to tell her. If she starts to get loud or if shes about to yell dont follow her, but bring her back down by saying something like "Mom, I just want to talk". Tell her that you've sacrifeced for her (by not going to parties, etc.) and how you dont feel your getting anything in return.



I would also write down everything you want to tell her to get your throughts straight before you confront her.



I also would let people like "Buzz Killingiton" get in your head. I hope I could helphonestly, ur parents just want the best for you. you are 14 and you are going to learn so much about boys now til 18-20 years old. your views will change so much as you learn alot. your mom is just protecting you from guys.
Sit your mom down for a talk and explain all this to her. I promise you IT WILL HELP. But be sure to watch your tone. sound grown up and respectful.
moms are really- protective, i guess is the right word, of their daughters. i am one. daughter, that is. im 16, so im kind of close to your age- and my mom used to be way too overbearing about what i could and couldn't do. what might help is for you to sit down and write out- CALMLY- what you would want to say to her. that way, if she becomes open-minded enough to have an actual conversation, you know what you want to say. and if she just shuts you down- you can leave it for her to read. and sometimes that's best.. when its in writing, she cant interrupt you, and you cant get frustrated at her. if you do decide to write about it, make sure you tell her that it hurts that you two cant connect anymore, but tell her why, because just saying "this hurts me" isn't very effective.

if i had to guess, you're not a horrible daughter, and you're probably not as rude as often as you think. its just about communication. and teenage years are REALLY tough, but she just wants to make sure you turn out okay.

you'll just have to be patient. with whatever you chose.
Congratulations, you are now officially a teenager. 14-16 years old was the hardest thing in my life. I was exactly how you were or rather my parents treated me the same way I was basically a prisoner in my own home and was not allowed to have the same freedom as the people my age were. So I became angry and bitter. I rebelled and did dangerous thing all because I was angry at my parents and wanted to hurt them but in doing so only hurt myself. So my advice to you is just keep your head up, not everything that happens is the end of the world and try to hang out with family or friends if you need a break from parents. Just know that things only last for a time. Your parents may always see you as their little girl. I'm almost 20 and get treated the same way. Anyway just continue to stay positive as best you can and know that nothing lasts for forever.
i know how you feel. as i grew older i felt less trust and less love from my mom. she would snap at me and get so mad where she threatened to hit me. im 18 now and i feel like i dont really have a mom anymore. my dad was never in the picture.



i know there is stuff a daughter should tell their mom but i told my friends first. they knew more stuff about me then my mom did. i didnt go to any of my school dances even prom because i knew she wouldnt be happy about it and she not happy its more easier for her to be verbally abusive to me.



i say be who you want to be. dress how you want to. in the end its not about making her happy its about you being happy. i made that mistake all my life. i was living 2 different lives and my life sucked. in 4yrs when your at college and an adult it wont matter what she thinks only what you think about you. dont listen to her when she puts you down. you are your own person. dont let anyone change you or you will regret it. i hope i helped.m did. i didnt go to any of my school dances even prom because i knew she wouldnt be happy about it and she not happy its more easier for her to be verbally abusive to me.



i say be who you want to be. dress how you want to. in the end its not about making her happy its about you being happy. i made that mistake all my life. i was living 2 different lives and my life sucked. in 4yrs when your at college and an adult it wont matter what she thinks only what you think about you. dont listen to her when she puts you down. you are your own person. dont let anyone change you or you will regret it. i hope i helped.